I'm on a Plane

It’s a very odd feeling when somebody leaves you behind. It can happen in so many different ways that I couldn’t possibly touch on half of them with the energy I have tonight. But when you realize that the plans you had with someone are no longer accessible, it leaves a stale taste in your mouth and an absolute confused distortion on your face. Lip curled up. Brow turned down.

You couldn’t possibly blame them for living their own life. Hell, you’ve done this to others in the past. You feel guilty for keeping silent on the other end; Feel guilty because you don’t want them to feel guilt. But you know they do. And you think they should, maybe just a little. Not like it was a promise. But it was promising plan. And although you’ve known for some time that it’s not going to work out the way you once thought it might, it still hurts to hear it out loud.

And just because your friend is on a completely different plane, you have to sit their and silently analyze your own unleveled ground.

And you see so many people wanting to be on that same plane as your friend. And you think there’s something wrong with you for not wanting to be. You know that life is short. Others know that too. But they live it out a completely different way than you do. They think about it in different terms. You’re twenty-two. You feel so damn young to be hearing those words come out of your friend’s mouth. What’s the worst is that you didn’t think it would come so soon… didn’t think that so many people would want these things so soon… didn’t think that you weren’t going to be one of them.

It’s such an odd feeling when you realize you’re on a completely different plane than a friend you always thought would be at the same level as you. And you have to be okay with the fact that they are going to live their own life. But now… you just don’t know who you’re going to slip off the edge of the world with. It’s a bit daunting… a bit sad.