We Walked Wrapped in Thought

Do you know that really scary point about being young...? I mean, it's beautiful; an extraordinary mess, but it's quite frightening at the same time. It's that point in your life when you're feeling things for the first time... and not for the first time the second time around, like things mostly are now... but for the actual first time. Make any sense? Whereas twenty-one is sleeping in your bed with a new boyfriend, fourteen is the first time you've ever felt a boy 's body next to you in any bed. Well. I'm beginning to feel those initial emotions again. I have butterflies, which seem to be trying to break my stomach lining-- and they almost hurt. I'm not talking romantically... most people only think of butterflies in terms of romance...

I'm just acting so strangely-- and I keep apologizing for it-- but I know it's not my fault. But then who is to blame? And I need so much of what I don't have. But I've never been good at getting it. And I can't believe I'm feeling that sting for the 50th time around.

A Faulty Pen

I see you in my script.
And I believe I’ve made
My life’s first regret.

But you make it hard to put
The letters together
When there’s only ever ink.

Don’t you understand
That writer’s block
Is hereditary?

Just ten simple words
Are more than enough
To do what they should

Have done in the first place.

But I guess.
It’s nobody’s fault.
But the pen’s.

What's up New York.

Wow. What an amazing vacation. It felt so good to be in a place where virtually no one knew me. I realized when I got off the plane that I could be whoever I wanted to be. I could be a foot model from Denver, or a bean farmer from Hawaii. My name could be Gertrude, or Sherri, or Sasha, or Bob. But it wasn't. I was myself the whole entire time, and the more people I met, the more myself I was... the more "New York" I was. This trip just reconfirmed how much I love the city that never sleeps. I think it would be nice to move away for a while, but man........ I love New York.